Reflection

As I sat on my bed alone away from my fandom and real life, I have realized that for the past years I have been  paying attention to my needs and wants only. Yes I am aware that my parents are already getting old but that's it. I didn't have the sincere feeling of acknowledging what they have done and their sacrifices for me , for our family. Most of the time I get mad  and curse them in my mind whenever they scold me. I also take most of their scolding in a negative perspective.

Yesterday my mom started to feel numbness on her right arm and knowing that she had history of having angina and add it up that she has edema in her lower extremeties, I was really worried and frightened. I know that everyone of us will have our time to leave the earth but right now I'm not ready yet to lose my mom or anyone in my family [my pop has a cardiovascular disease as well. He had angioplasty 4 years ago]. I'm actually having a bargain with God. I am willing to give up my happiness and my selfish dreams..just don't take anyone from my family yet.

With these problems coming in our way, my parents' words started to knock me off

Be mature and responsible. Your father and I will not be forever around in this world

 I'm really afraid . I don't know whom am I gonna let all my feelings out so I just decided to pour everything in this blog. I have a BFF but I don't want her to be dragged with my problems. I am earnestly praying that Lord will hear my heart out.

Sudden twist in my life

Cancelling all my fangirling plans [buying merchandise, going to concerts, all out spazzing, Korea trip]  
I can't bear to be feeling happy and selfish when our family's having a crisis now. It was very sudden. All I thought everything was dandy fine until when we were having our dinner my mom blurted out the problem. 
I hope that God would give us strength to be strong as we face this crisis.  :')

Uncontrolled emotions

Bitterness, jealousy and frustrations [blame it to my weak emotions] led me to this wonderful EXO faniction : My Crazy Hot Aliens by dbskgirl4ever at asianfanfics.com . I cried a river over this story. My tears would not stop falling down during the later chapters. If my mom would see me crying she'd be weirded out again for sure the way when she sees me laughing and smiling over kpop. 

I enjoyed reading every chapter of it. It's a story filled with sweetness of ice cream, warmth of a newly cooked ramen, and cuteness of pucca !

**my eyes and head hurt due to excessive crying XDDDDD

TEYDADDYDAY

It's Youngbae's birthday!

I'm actually having 3 slices of bread with margarine and a mug of milo drink.

Where is money?

The call that I have been waiting for 2 days XD finally came this afternoon. My interview has been set. Sana pumasa ako :')
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And yes my Ear Fun Normal Edition arrived few days ago. This was what I have been talking about in my tumblr account. :D  So I welcome Ear Fun to the family! *throws confetti*

First Post

I was actually reading my 2008 and 2009 entries from my previous blog. Reading my stories bring back the memories from the past. :) Nagugulat na lang ako kasi may nangyari palang ganoon. :p


What shall I post here? Hmmm... I'll be posting random entries here ^^ i.e. fangirling stuff, real life , etc...


Since I dunno how tags/labels work here, I'll just be listing them.  


KPOP 
-may contain rants, ideas, photos related to Kpop


Big Bang 
CN Blue

NON KPOP
Me - my life outside my fandom I guess? :p